house of mercy

Looking For Your Face
Rumi

From the beginning of my life I have been looking for your face, but today I have seen it. Today I have seen the charm, the beauty, the unfathomable grace of the face that I was looking for. Today I have found you, and those who laughed and scorned me yesterday are sorry that they were not looking as I did. I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty, and wish to see you with a hundred eyes. My heart has burned with passion and has searched forever for this wondrous beauty that I now behold. I am ashamed to call this love human, and afraid of God to call it divine. Your fragrant breath, like the morning breeze, has come to the stillness of the garden. You have breathed new life into me. I have become your sunshine, and also your shadow. My soul is screaming in ecstasy. Every fiber of my being is in love with you. Your effulgence has lit a fire in my heart, and you have made radiant for me the earth and sky. My arrow of love has arrived at the target. I am in the house of mercy, and my heart is a place of prayer.

fire island

self-portrait, fire island, new york, polaroid
i remember this day. it was in this very instant there on that long stretch of beach that i made the decision to ‘let go’ … to step out of my old life and to jump into the river of my longing. not long after, i had given away most of my things, bowed down to everyone and everything that had come before this moment … and then, one small step … and as i did, i felt the weight of my pack pressing close on my back, the road stretched out before me … i was on the camino again. just like that.

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